Rambling on. Relaxation and space.

(Monday 17^th September 2012 18:38)

Here we go. Let’s see what comes up. There is nothing in my mind in particular. There is no subject that I have in mind. Then I thought of the “Stay Puff Mallow man” from Ghostbusters. Don’t think of that!

I’m going to try thinking of nothing. Nothing can be emptiness and I can think of that. But can I think of nothing a write at the same time? Even if I am writing about nothing, I am also thinking about the writing, therefore, maybe I’m not thinking about nothing! What a load of non-sense. Still, the exercise is amusing me.

I want to wash my mind free of the day’s activities. It was quite productive, but I want to think of something else now.

In the last couple of days I have cleared a number of small things away. None of it was particularly earth shattering, but I feel the benefit of looking at the clear space on the shelf I just glanced over at. I also like the fact that there is more clear space on my desk. When I have done the current batch of administrative tasks I am going to get myself a small filing cabinet and use that to conceal the papers that I do not need immediate access to. This is a sort of spiritual Feng Shui. I am creating space in my physical environment as a way of creating space in my inner environment. I am creating space in my mind. I am creating space for my unconscious to work in.

When I have written this piece I am going to look up Feng Shui on the internet. I know that it has principles but I don’t really know what those principles are. I would like to know. I don’t expect I will follow the principles slavishly, but I would like to know what they are.

I’ve just paused to put a CD in the computer. It’s “Another Day on Earth” by Brian Eno. I like it as background. I’m listening on headphones, so nobody else can hear. I’ve also lit an incense stick (Joss-stick), so that is filling my nostrils with scent.

This exercise is proving a little harder this evening than I expected. I had expected to shoot off at a tangent, but that doesn’t seem to have happened. Instead, this evening, I’m having to prod the thoughts from time to time.

Yesterday I listened to a recording of a BBC presentation of JRR Tolkien’s “The Hobbit”. Actually I listened to it over a number of the previous days because it is 4 hours of recording. I have “The Lord of the Rings” as well. That is 13 hours! I am looking forward to “The Hobbit” film(s). I will go and watch them when they come out.

Now there is one of Eno’s songs in the background (“And then so clear”). The words have a strange quality; part non-sense, part poetic.  The evoke an emotional response in me but I don’t know what they mean:

“And then so clear to wonder, to wake with open eyes, like the snow across the tundra or the rain across the sky.”

It is interesting that words like that should produce any response at all. I’ve only managed to type a page so far. This evening it seems to be a struggle to write. But that is a good reason for persisting with it. Keep on keeping on. I want to write a little more.

What have I done today? I made good progress with an admin task that I want to get completed by the end of the month. I will review what I have done tomorrow and then complete the forms. That will mean that I have the whole of Wednesday to prepare for the course session on Thursday evening. If I get that all done on Wednesday, then I can move on to the next admin task on Thursday, during the day and get ahead of myself for the course session in the evening.

Hmm. It is starting to flow a little better now. Shall I set myself a target of pages or time? If I set pages, and set the target too high it becomes a blockage. If I set a page target too low, then it isn’t really a target. Similarly, time targets can encourage me to “cheat”. But is it really cheating? After all, the rules are mine, therefore I can change them if I wish. The point is, that I want to train myself to “write” a certain amount.

I am going to get myself a better footrest some time. I find it is more comfortable to have something to rest my feet on when I am writing. I suppose the ideal would be one of those proper typist’s footrests. They are adjustable and I expect they are very comfortable. I could make one but I can’t really be bothered and I suspect that if I did that I would be using it as an excuse to not do something else. I think that a simple wedge of firm foam would be more than adequate. Ideally I would like to cover it in some kind of fabric. Where could I buy a wedge of foam from? If I was still in London, I can think of at least one place which would probably be able to supply such a thing (providing of course that they are still trading).

I have got a certain amount of pleasure from writing letters. As I didn’t receive a confirmation that my note to Max and Christine had been read, I will have to assume that they have not received it. Alan said that Max led quite a cloistered life these days. I can quite believe that. I shall write to Max before the end of the month. I will do the admin tasks first, so that I’m not using it as a distraction.

I’m developing a slight ache in my right side. That suggests to me that I’m not sitting properly at the desk. So, body is giving me further encouragement to get the footrest (and maybe, if I can find a new source of income, a good chair to sit on). But I’m not going to let myself use that as an excuse to stop immediately. I’m not going to force myself to type so much that it causes me real pain and possibly injury but I am going to push on a little further. Just a little more.  I’ve passed the thousand word mark.

One thing that continues to surprise me is that most of what I write is reasonably grammatically correct. Or at least, it is correct according to the checker in Word! Maybe I shouldn’t trust the machine quite so much!  

There! For all practical purposes, that is the bottom of the second page. I’m going to write a few more sentences to fill in the remaining space and then do a little research on the internet: two authors and Feng Shui to look up. One of the authors was one of the “beat generation” and the other is a young woman who has been publishing her work on the internet.

(signing off 19:27 Words: 1218, Pages: 2)